When you find out the news you are expecting according to literature you are supposed to be over the moon, excited and happy. Right? Everything you read always expressed what joy the mother had. How she was so excited to find out she was pregnant and how this was the most exciting time of her life. Well that was the complete opposite  for me . Finding out I was pregnant did not bring me joy one bit. It brought shock, panic, anger, and regret. I mean being on birth control was supposed to not let this happen. And I had taken my birth control faithfully, so how did I end up pregnant. Three words – SINUS INFECTION ANTIBIOTICS. When I heard that I wanted to slap myself for not reading the side effects. So there I was seven weeks pregnant and not one happy feeling that I was reading about.

As I read about all the love and happiness I was supposed to be feeling I felt like something was wrong with me. With every congratulations I got and every fake thank you I gave I figured that something was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I even a little bit excited? Where was my joy seeing the ultrasound? Everyone else had it. It was then I realized that maybe my feelings were not bad and that maybe I wasn’t supposed to be super happy. I realized I wasn’t happy because this wasn’t my plan and I had to get over that hurt. Once I was able to do that then my feelings of happiness came . So here is some advice for expecting mothers who are not as happy as literature says you should be:

1. It is just fine to feel however you feel. No one can walk in your shoes to know what is going on and that is ok.

2. Give the fake thank you’s and smiles. That saved me from having to explain something that I couldn’t explain.

3. Start a new plan. When my plans were changed in an instant I was upset but making new plans gave me the happiness that everyone talked about. It also gave me excitement for new things to do (all the kid things I do anyway, I now have legit reasons).

4. Talk to someone your close too. My best friend and blogging buddy probably saved me without knowing. Her just listening and not judging made me feel like less of a freak. It gives you a chance to get out of your head and that person can give you advice you don’t have to take but can listen to without burdens.

And finally know it gets better. You will soon have someone who will look at you like your the best thing since sliced bread. He/she will not care that you wasn’t happy in the beginning because by the end you love them more than you love yourself. That alone is worth more than anything . Davian is the love of my life and that alone is a gift in its self. My happy feelings came later when the time was right for me. I turned out just fine and you will too :).